Couples Sex Therapy: Try This Intimacy Exercise to Reach New Levels of Closeness
Mutual masturbation is a powerful and intimate exercise often recommended in couples sex therapy. It allows partners to explore each other’s pleasure, build trust, and improve communication about sexual desires. Here’s why it’s one of my favorite sex therapy exercises at my practice in Oklahoma City and how you can make the most of it.
Understanding Mutual Masturbation
Mutual masturbation involves both partners touching themselves while observing and possibly interacting with each other. This exercise can enhance intimacy and pleasure by:
Encouraging Open Communication: Partners discuss their preferences and what feels good, leading to a deeper understanding and connection. This dialogue fosters a non-judgmental environment where both can express their sexual needs openly.
Building Trust: By being open and vulnerable in a shared experience, partners strengthen their emotional and physical bonds. Witnessing each other in such an intimate setting reinforces a sense of safety and mutual respect, which is foundational in any relationship.
Exploring Desires: It allows each person to communicate their sexual needs and desires without the pressure of performance. This exploration can lead to discoveries about what each partner enjoys, paving the way for more satisfying sexual encounters in the future.
Tips for a Positive Mutual Masturbation Experience
To make the most of mutual masturbation, consider these tips:
Set the Scene: Create a comfortable and private environment where both partners feel relaxed. Dim the lights, play soft music, and ensure that the space is free from distractions. A warm, inviting atmosphere can help both partners feel more at ease, making it easier to focus on each other.
Communicate Openly: Discuss your desires, boundaries, and what you’re both comfortable with beforehand. This conversation is crucial for ensuring that both partners feel safe and respected. Consider establishing a safe word or signal that can be used if either person feels uncomfortable at any point.
Be Patient and Attentive: Focus on each other’s responses and adjust as needed to ensure both partners are enjoying the experience. Pay attention to non-verbal cues, such as changes in breathing or body language, to gauge your partner’s comfort and pleasure levels. This mindfulness enhances the connection between partners, making the experience more fulfilling.
Consider UsingToys
Incorporating sex toys into mutual masturbation can elevate the experience and add new dimensions of pleasure. Here’s how to integrate them effectively:
Add Variety: Toys like vibrators, suction devices, or even strokers can introduce different sensations, making the experience more exciting and pleasurable. These tools can stimulate areas that might be difficult to reach or enhance sensations in ways that manual stimulation alone cannot achieve.
Enhance Stimulation: Sex toys can amplify sensations, increase arousal, and lead to novel and exciting orgasms. For example, a clitoral suction device like the We-Vibe Melt can offer intense stimulation, while a vibrating cock ring can enhance erections and prolong pleasure.
Facilitate Shared Pleasure: Toys can be used together, creating opportunities for mutual enjoyment and exploration. Partners can experiment with using toys on each other, discovering new ways to give and receive pleasure. This shared experience not only heightens physical pleasure but also deepens emotional intimacy.
Recommended Products:
Clitoral Suction Toy: Perfect for adding precise and intense stimulation.
Je Joue Mimi Soft Vibrator: Provides gentle vibrations that can enhance both solo and shared experiences.
Why I Recommend Mutual Masturbation in Couples Therapy
At my practice in Oklahoma City, I frequently recommend mutual masturbation as a way for couples to reconnect on both a physical and emotional level. This exercise can be particularly beneficial for couples who are looking to:
Reignite Desire: If sexual desire has waned, mutual masturbation can help rekindle the flame by reintroducing sensuality in a low-pressure setting.
Address Sexual Mismatches: When one partner has a higher libido than the other, mutual masturbation can provide a middle ground where both partners can engage in sexual activity at their own comfort level.
Strengthen Emotional Bonds: The vulnerability and trust required for mutual masturbation can bring partners closer together, reinforcing their commitment to each other’s well-being and pleasure.
Mutual masturbation can be a fulfilling and enlightening exercise that deepens intimacy and enhances pleasure. As a couples sex therapist in Oklahoma City, I find it to be an invaluable tool for couples looking to improve their sexual connection and communication. If you have any questions or need further guidance, feel free to reach out!
3 Reasons to Incorporate Sex Toys into Your Intimate Life
Sex toys can be a fantastic addition to your intimate life, bringing new experiences and enhancing pleasure for individuals and couples alike. If you're curious about how they can benefit you, here are three reasons to incorporate sex toys into your sex life:
1. Enhanced Pleasure
Sex toys are designed to provide unique sensations that can intensify pleasure. Whether you’re exploring solo or with a partner, they can:
Help you discover what feels best for you
Stimulate erogenous zones with precision, consistency and wonderful intensity
Offer varied textures and vibrations for new experiences
2. Improved Ability to Orgasm
Sex toys can significantly enhance your ability to reach orgasm by:
Offering targeted stimulation that can help you reach climax more easily
Introducing new types of stimulation that might be more effective than manual techniques
Helping you explore what types of sensations and rhythms lead to the most satisfying orgasms
3. Boosted Intimacy and Connection
Using sex toys can enhance intimacy and connection with your partner by:
Encouraging you both to communicate openly about pleasure and preferences
Adding a playful element to your intimate moments
Helping you both feel more comfortable with each other’s desires
Product Recommendations:
As a sex therapist, I’ve found that sex toys are a valuable, often underutilized tool for enhancing pleasure and intimacy in relationships. Expanding your view of sex beyond penetrative intercourse can lead to more sustainable and enjoyable experiences, with toys like vibrating and suction-based products increasing sensitivity and facilitating orgasms. I offer high-quality toys at reduced prices through a reputable Canadian wholesale company, with discreet shipping and a manufacturer's warranty. Feel free to email me at hannah@guesthousetherapeutics.com for personalized recommendations.
Incorporating sex toys into your sex life can be a rewarding experience, whether you’re enhancing solo pleasure or exploring new dimensions of intimacy with a partner. As a sex therapist in OKC, I often see how embracing these tools can lead to greater satisfaction and connection. If you have any questions or need guidance, feel free to reach out!
A Step-By-Step Guide to Masturbating for the First Time (Plus My Favorite Vibrator Recommendation!)
A Step-By-Step Guide To Masturbating
Masturbation can be a sensitive topic, often surrounded by cultural baggage, stereotypes, and misconceptions. As a sex therapist in Oklahoma City, I frequently help clients navigate these feelings and make the process more comfortable. Here’s a step-by-step guide to exploring masturbation for the first time, with practical advice and one of my favorite vibrator recommendations.
Normalize Masturbation & Sex
It's common for clients to approach masturbation with anxiety due to societal and cultural influences. Many view it through a lens of guilt or awkwardness. My goal as a therapist is to help clients see sex and masturbation as natural, enjoyable activities—much like savoring a great cup of coffee or a scenic walk. By focusing on pleasure and self-exploration, these experiences can become more enjoyable and less fraught with unnecessary baggage.
Why Masturbate?
Understanding the benefits of masturbation may help increase interest and overcome hesitation. It can be helpful to become in touch with why masturbation matters to you. Here are some key reasons to consider:
Discovering personal preferences and desires
Relieving stress and enhancing relaxation
Improving sexual experiences with a partner
Enhancing sleep quality
Boosting mood through endorphin release
Supporting overall sexual health and wellness
Step One: Getting in the Mood
Your body has a built-in system for managing arousal, known as the Dual Control Model of Sexual Response. This system includes a sexual accelerator (things that turn you on) and a sexual brake (things that turn you off). To create an optimal environment for arousal, it’s crucial to identify and address your personal turn-offs:
Common Turn-Offs:
Stress from work or daily life
Fatigue
Fear of interruption or noise
Concerns about performance or hygiene
Emotional disconnection from your partner
Pets in the room
Physical discomfort or menstrual cycle
Common Turn-Ons:
Utilizing fantasies
Feeling connected to your partner
Feeling connected to your body (through activities like yoga, dancing or a walk)
Taking a bath or shower
Feeling relaxed and stress free
Practicing self-care & having alone time
Watching porn
Reading or listening to erotica
Discover Your Unique Recipe: Start by listing your own specific turn-offs/ons and see how they impact your comfort and arousal.
Step Two: Follow What Feels Good
As you begin to touch yourself, the most important thing is to follow what feels good to you. Having an orgasm may take longer than you expect. I recommend exploring yourself for at least 15 minutes each time and pairing it with some type of fantasy or erotica, if that interests you. Stick with any motions that you notice lead to pleasure building in your genitals. Be patient and give yourself the time to learn and enjoy the process. If you find yourself getting distracted or discouraged….release any self-judgement, know that is normal, and try to redirect your attention to what feels good in your body
Step Three: Indirect or Direct Clitoral Stimulation?
Experiment with different types of stimulation to find what you enjoy most. Begin by using the pads of two fingertips to make gentle circles all around your vulva. To explore indirect stimulation, touch around the clitoris without making direct contact. For direct stimulation, gently touch the clitoris itself while continuing to make gentle circles. Alternating between the two can help you discover which method brings the most pleasure. Pay attention to whether you prefer indirect or direct stimulation and focus on what feels best for you. It’s common to begin with indirect stimulation and move towards direct stimulation (or vice versa!)
Step Four: Direction of Stroke
Once you have discovered whether you like indirect or direct stimulation, try moving your clitoris in various ways to determine what feels most pleasurable:
Up and down
Side to side
Diagonal
Circular
Rocking motion
Experiment with each direction to discover your preferences
Step Five: Pressure
Now that you have found the type of stroke you enjoy, it’s time to play with pressure!
Start with very light pressure, barely perceptible.
Gradually increase the pressure until it feels comfortable.
Continue to add pressure until it becomes uncomfortable, then reduce it to find the optimal level.
Find your “Goldilocks” level of pressure - not too much, not too little (I learned this technique from the amazing Sex Therapist, Vanessa Marin):
Step Six: Speed
Continue the stroke and pressure you enjoy and now explore speed!
Begin with very slow movements.
Increase the speed gradually until it feels good.
Continue to speed up until it becomes uncomfortable, then slow down to find the most satisfying pace.
Find your “Goldilocks” level of speed - not too fast, not too slow
Step Seven: Stick with It & Let it Happen
Continue to touch yourself in the way that feels good. As it feels good and natural, remain relaxed and gradually increase the intensity of stimulation until your body is ready to orgasm.
If you're struggling with building pleasure and reaching orgasm, try these techniques:
Tighten and release your muscles (thighs, butt, abs) during stimulation.
Take short breaths (5-10 seconds) while exploring.
Rock your hips gently to add variation.
Use the above techniques with a vibrator
Make thrusting motions with your pelvis into your fingers or vibrator
Try stimulating your nipple for additional arousal
Try lying on your stomach rather than your back
Orgasms can feel many different ways, but some describe it like reaching the top of a rollercoaster—there's an intense build-up, a moment of suspension, and then a thrilling, exhilarating release as you descend.
Helpful Tips
Give yourself ample time and space to explore.
Enjoy the process without pressure or expectation.
Remember, achieving orgasm is a skill that develops with practice and patience.
Consistency is key to learning and enhancing your experience
Bird’s Eye View of the Sexual Response Cycle
To recap: here’s an overview of the general cycle your body will go through when reaching orgasm:
Arousal: Begin with activities that turn you on. This can include fantasizing, watching or reading erotic material, or touching other parts of your body that feel arousing such as your nipples
Build-Up: Focus on stimulating yourself in a way that feels good, gradually increasing pressure, speed, and intensity.
Plateau: As pleasure builds, maintain a steady rhythm and pressure that keeps you aroused without overwhelming you. This is the stage just before orgasm.
Orgasm: When you're ready, increase the intensity of stimulation. You'll experience involuntary muscle contractions and a peak of pleasure. Relax and let it happen naturally.
Resolution: After orgasm, take time to relax and enjoy the afterglow. Your body will gradually return to its normal state.
Additional Resources
Achieving orgasm can be a journey, and understanding what works for your body is crucial. Here are some further resources from reputable sources:
Emily Nagoski's "Come As You Are": Focus on what feels pleasurable and let go of any performance anxiety. Everyone's path to orgasm is unique.
Betty Dodson's Work: Practice self-touch regularly and experiment with different techniques and pressures to learn what feels best.
Masturbation Research by Dr. Lori Brotto: Incorporate mindfulness into your practice. Being fully present and aware of your sensations can enhance your experience and increase your chances of reaching orgasm.
Vibrator Recommendation
For those interested in adding a vibrator to their exploration, I highly recommend the Je Joue Mimi. Its a great choice for beginners and can be extremely helpful for reaching orgasm!
it's normal to feel unsure or need some guidance along the way. If you would like further help, consider booking a consult to receive personalized support and advice.
3 Must-Try Sex Therapy Exercises for Couples
As a sex therapist in Oklahoma City, I often recommend exercises couples can practice at home to enhance intimacy and communication. Here are three pleasurable, connecting, and effective techniques that you can explore together:
1. Bonding Behaviors
Bonding behaviors are small, affectionate acts that can significantly strengthen your emotional and physical connection. These behaviors trigger the release of oxytocin, often called the "cuddle hormone," which promotes feelings of trust, attachment, and intimacy. By regularly engaging in these simple yet powerful exercises, couples can build a stronger foundation for their relationship and sexual connection.
Try these exercises:
Comforting Touch: Ask your partner what kind of affectionate touch is most comforting. Take turns practicing this touch.
Slow-Motion Kissing: Touch and kiss in s-l-o-w motion for several minutes. Whatever speed you would normally use, use quarter speed.
Nurturing Caress: Have one partner relax while the other gently caresses their abdomen, exploring nurturing touch.
Full-Body Kisses: Take turns having one partner lie back while the other slowly kisses from head to toe, focusing on positive qualities.
Face Stroking: Practice cradling your partner's head in your lap and gently stroking their face.
2. Mutual Masturbation
Mutual masturbation is an intimate way to connect with your partner and discover new sides of each other. This practice can help couples overcome barriers to communication about sex, increase comfort with their own bodies, and discover new ways to experience pleasure together. It's a powerful tool for building trust and enhancing sexual intimacy.
Here's a step-by-step guide to try mindful self-exploration:
Initiate the Conversation: Start with a simple statement like "I'd love to explore something new with you" or share an article about mutual masturbation and ask for your partner's thoughts.
Set the Mood: Create a comfortable environment with dim lighting or candlelight. Consider starting clothed and gradually undressing as you become more comfortable.
Choose Your Position: Try side-by-side for beginners, face-to-face for more intimacy, or experiment with one partner observing the other from different angles.
Incorporate Dirty Talk: Express your enjoyment. Tell your partner how attractive they look or how turned on you are.
Use Porn: Consider watching porn together as a way to increase eroticism.
Experiment with Toys and Lube: Introduce favorite sex toys or try new ones together. Consider using lube for enhanced sensation.
Make It Playful: Turn the experience into a game. Try mirroring each other's movements or giving gentle instructions to your partner.
Focus on Sensations: Pay attention to your body's responses and your partner's reactions. This mindfulness can heighten pleasure and intimacy.
Communicate Openly: Share what feels good and ask your partner about their experience. This feedback is invaluable for improving your sex life.
Discuss Afterwards: Reflect on the experience together, sharing what you enjoyed and any new discoveries about yourselves or each other.
Remember, the goal is mutual pleasure and connection, not performance. Approach this exercise with curiosity and openness. Mutual masturbation can be a powerful tool for enhancing intimacy and sexual satisfaction in your relationship.
3. Share Sexual Requests (While Focusing on Pleasure!)
This exercise is designed to heighten sensory awareness and improve communication about physical pleasure. By taking turns making and fulfilling non-intercourse related requests, couples can explore touch, sensation, and intimacy in new ways. This activity helps partners become more attuned to each other's desires and responses, fostering a deeper connection and more satisfying sexual experiences.
Follow these steps:
Set the Atmosphere: Create a calm, private environment. Consider lighting and music to set the mood.
Make Requests: Take turns making three requests each for intimate touch (that are not oral sex or intercourse); such as having your neck kissed or your breast caressed.
Focus on Pleasure: When giving, focus entirely on your partner's pleasure and reactions. When receiving, enjoy the sensations fully - touch, smell, sound, etc.
Communicate: Openly discuss likes or request a change in pressure, direction, or technique.
Reflect Together: After completing all requests, discuss the experience and any new discoveries.
These exercises are about exploration and connection, not performance. Approach them with an open mind and a spirit of playfulness. If you'd like more guidance on these or other techniques, don't hesitate to reach out for sex therapy in Oklahoma City. These exercises can be powerful tools for enhancing intimacy, improving communication, and deepening your sexual connection with your partner.
How to Improve a Sexless Marriage
A Sex Therapist's Guide to Improving a Sexless Marriage in Oklahoma City
As a Sex Therapist in OKC, I often work with couples struggling with a lack of intimacy in their relationships. A sexless marriage, typically defined as having sex fewer than 10 times per year, can leave partners feeling disconnected and unfulfilled. However, with the right strategies and support, it's possible to reignite the spark in your relationship. Here are some insights and tips from my Sex Therapy practice in Oklahoma City to help couples improve intimacy in a sexless marriage.
Understanding the Root Causes
Before addressing solutions, it's crucial to identify the underlying issues contributing to your sexless marriage. Common factors include:
Stress and exhaustion from work or parenting
Unresolved relationship conflicts
Medical conditions or medications affecting libido
Body image issues or low self-esteem
Mismatched sexual desires or preferences
Unprocessed trauma or past negative sexual experiences
5 Suggestions for Incorporating Intimacy Back into Your Marriage
Schedule regular "connection time" without the pressure of sex
Practice non-sexual touch, such as hand-holding or massage
Engage in activities that promote emotional intimacy, like deep conversations
Gradually reintroduce physical affection, starting with kisses and cuddling
Explore new forms of sexual expression together, such as sensate focus exercises
The Power of Communication
Open, honest communication is essential for rebuilding intimacy. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, emphasizes the importance of "turning towards" your partner emotionally. This means actively listening, showing empathy, and expressing your needs and desires without judgment or criticism. In Sex Therapy sessions in Oklahoma City, we work on developing these crucial communication skills.
Redefining Intimacy Beyond Intercourse
Sex therapist Dr. Barry McCarthy advocates for a broader view of sexual intimacy. His "Good Enough Sex" model encourages couples to focus on pleasure and connection rather than performance. This approach can help reduce anxiety and pressure around sexual encounters, making intimacy more enjoyable and sustainable.
7 Practical Steps to Improve Your Sex Life
Prioritize self-care and stress management
Create a romantic atmosphere in your bedroom
Experiment with different times of day for intimacy
Incorporate sex toys or new techniques to add excitement
Read erotic literature or watch ethical pornography together
Practice mindfulness to stay present during intimate moments
Seek professional help from a Sex Therapist in OKC if needed
If you're struggling with intimacy issues in your relationship, don't hesitate to reach out for Sex Therapy in Oklahoma City As a trained professional, I can provide personalized guidance and support to help you and your partner reconnect and build a stronger, more intimate relationship.
Sex Therapy Secrets: #1 - Prioritize Intimacy
Making Time for Each Other in a Busy World
In today's fast-paced world, it's easy for couples to get caught up in the whirlwind of daily responsibilities. From career demands to household chores, our to-do lists seem endless. But amidst this chaos, it's crucial to remember the importance of intimacy in our relationships. As a sex therapist in Oklahoma City, I often see couples struggling to maintain their connection in the face of life's many demands.
A Game-Changing Question to Ask:
Emily Nagoski, in her insightful book "Come Together," poses a thought-provoking question to couples: "What kind of sex is worth not doing anything else?"" This question cuts to the heart of what truly matters in our relationships. Couples who maintain a fulfilling and sustainable sex life understand the value of prioritizing intimacy.
10 Tips to Help You and Your Partner Prioritize Intimacy:
Schedule intimate time: Just as you schedule important meetings, set aside dedicated time for intimacy.
Create a tech-free zone: Designate certain areas or times as phone-free to foster undistracted connection.
Practice mindfulness together: Engage in activities like meditation or yoga to stay present with each other.
Explore new experiences: Try new activities such as using sex toys or spending the night in a hotel.
Communicate openly: Regular check-ins about your needs and desires can strengthen your bond.
Prioritize sleep: Adequate rest is crucial for maintaining a healthy sex life.
Show physical affection daily: Small gestures like hugs or kisses can maintain connection.
Share fantasies: Open up about your desires to deepen intimacy and trust.
Practice gratitude: Regularly express appreciation for your partner and their efforts.
Seek professional help when needed: A sex therapist in OKC can provide valuable guidance and support.
If you're facing challenges in your intimate life, don't hesitate to reach out for support. Sex therapy in Oklahoma City can provide you with the tools and strategies to overcome obstacles and build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.
Reigniting Passion: An Oklahoma City Sex Therapist's Insights
Rekindling the Spark in Intimate Relationships
In our fast-paced world, it's easy for the spark in intimate relationships to fade. The daily grind, stress, and routine can dampen even the most passionate connections. As an experienced sex therapist in Oklahoma City, I've witnessed countless couples who come into my office for an initial appointment, wondering why their connection has lessened. Renowned psychotherapist, Esther Perel’s groundbreaking work on desire and intimacy has transformed how we view romantic relationships. Her insights teach us that desire thrives on novelty, mystery, and uniqueness – the very elements that tend to erode over time.
Creating Space for Desire
One of Perel's core messages is that desire needs space to breathe. When our lives become too enmeshed and predictable, desire can suffocate. By creating opportunities for separateness and rediscovery within the relationship, we allow desire to be reborn. As an Oklahoma City sex therapist, I encourage couples to explore new experiences together – whether it's taking a dance class, planning a surprise weekend getaway, or simply trying new activities in the bedroom. This sense of novelty and adventure can reignite passion.
Nurturing Individuality
Perel also emphasizes the importance of individuality within a relationship. We're attracted to our partner's unique qualities – the traits that make them distinct. Nurturing our individual identities, rather than losing ourselves in coupledom, can be an aphrodisiac.
The Power of Communication
Of course, communication is key. Open, vulnerable dialogue about desires, boundaries, and evolving needs is essential for a fulfilling intimate connection. As an Oklahoma City sex therapist, I provide a safe space for couples to explore these conversations.
Reviving Desire
If the spark in your relationship needs rekindling, know that desire can be revived. With self-awareness, creativity, and a willingness to explore, passion can be reignited. Embrace the wisdom of experts like Esther Perel, and seek guidance from a qualified Oklahoma City sex therapist when needed.
Exploring New Dimensions Together: Enhancing Intimacy with Anal Sex
An OKC Sex Therapist’s Tips for Anal Sex:
In the ever-evolving journey of a relationship, couples often seek new ways to deepen their bond and explore each other's desires. Venturing into new sexual experiences, such as anal sex, can be a thrilling way to connect on a deeper level. However, navigating this new terrain requires understanding, patience, and care. In the heart of enriching relationships through exploration and communication, here are some enlightening tips for couples in OKC looking to embrace this intimate experience.
1. Communication is Key
Before embarking on this intimate journey, it's crucial to have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Discussing your desires, fears, and boundaries can create a foundation of trust and understanding. Sex Therapy can help work on clear communication in all aspects of a relationship, especially when exploring new sexual experiences. This initial step ensures that both partners are on the same page and feel comfortable and respected throughout the process.
2. Education and Preparation
Taking the time to educate yourselves about anal sex is vital for a safe and enjoyable experience. This includes understanding the anatomy involved, the importance of lubrication, and the need for patience during the act. Sex Therapy can help facilitate a sense of teamwork and mutual responsibility for each other's pleasure and well-being.
3. The Role of Lubrication
Lubrication is not just important; it's essential for comfortable and pleasurable anal sex. Since the anus does not naturally lubricate like the vagina, applying a generous amount of high-quality lubricant can reduce friction and enhance pleasure. Opt for a thicker, longer-lasting lube designed specifically for anal sex to ensure a smoother experience.
4. Starting Slowly
The key to enjoyable anal sex is to start slowly, breathe, relax, and gradually increase the pace and depth of penetration as comfort levels rise. This approach allows the receiving partner to relax and adjust to the new sensations. The receiving partner should openly communicate their preferences, comfort levels, and desires, taking charge of the experience to ensure a positive and consensual encounter. Sex Therapy can help teach the importance of being attuned to each other's comfort levels and signals, making adjustments as necessary to ensure a pleasurable experience for both.
5. Aftercare is Essential
After exploring anal sex, engaging in aftercare reinforces your emotional connection and provides an opportunity to discuss the experience openly. This might include cuddling, verbal affirmations, or simply sharing how the experience felt for each partner. Sex Therapy can help in improving processing and communication of this new experience.
Embracing New Experiences Together
Exploring anal sex can be a deeply rewarding aspect of a couple's sexual journey. It offers a unique opportunity to explore new pleasures, deepen trust, and strengthen your connection. By approaching this experience with care, communication, and mutual respect, couples can navigate this path in a way that enhances their relationship both emotionally and physically.
The journey of exploring anal sex, much like any new sexual adventure, can also benefit from professional guidance and support. Sex therapy is a valuable resources for couples looking to deepen their intimacy and strengthen their relationship in a safe, supportive environment. Remember, every couple's journey is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. The key is to stay connected, communicate openly, and approach each new experience with an open heart and mind.
Understanding and Overcoming Premature Ejaculation: Your Guide to Treatment in Oklahoma City
Overview of PE
Premature ejaculation (PE) is a common sexual health issue affecting men across various ages and backgrounds. Characterized by ejaculation that occurs sooner than desired, often within one minute of sexual activity, PE can lead to stress, embarrassment, and dissatisfaction for both partners. However, it's crucial to remember that PE is treatable, and various options are available right here in Oklahoma City.
What Causes Premature Ejaculation?
The exact cause of PE isn't well understood and is likely multifaceted, involving both psychological and biological factors. These can include early sexual experiences, erectile dysfunction, anxiety, relationship problems, and hormonal issues, among others. Understanding the underlying cause is a critical step in choosing the most effective treatment.
Treatment Options for Premature Ejaculation
1. Medications: Certain antidepressants (like SSRIs) and topical anesthetics can delay ejaculation. These medications are often prescribed off-label for PE treatment and have shown effectiveness for many men. Phosphodiesterase-5 inhibitors, a class of drugs used to treat erectile dysfunction, have also been effective in some cases.
2. Condoms and Sprays: Condoms specifically designed to decrease sensation or topical sprays that contain numbing agents can provide immediate relief for men with PE. These over-the-counter solutions can be a practical first step towards managing PE symptoms.
3. Therapy: Therapy, particularly cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), is a cornerstone of PE treatment. It helps individuals and couples understand the psychological factors contributing to PE, develop coping strategies, and improve sexual communication skills. Therapy can be an effective standalone treatment or a complement to other treatments.
The Role of Sex Therapy in Treating PE
Sex therapy, offered by trained professionals in Oklahoma City, provides a safe and confidential environment to explore sexual concerns. It's particularly beneficial for those whose PE is related to anxiety, relationship issues, or negative sexual experiences. Therapy can help by:
Educating about the sexual response cycle and techniques to manage anxiety.
Behavioral techniques, such as the "stop-start" or "squeeze" techniques, which can help men gain more control over ejaculation.
Improving communication between partners about sexual needs and preferences, which can reduce the pressure that contributes to PE.
Addressing underlying issues like erectile dysfunction, which can be both a cause and a result of PE.
Finding Help in Oklahoma City
If you're struggling with premature ejaculation, know that you're not alone, and help is available right here in Oklahoma City. Our clinic specializes in sexual health and therapy, providing a compassionate and professional approach to overcoming PE. With a range of treatment options and a supportive environment, we're dedicated to helping you achieve a satisfying and healthy sexual life.
Embracing Sexual Pleasure: A Pathway to Healthy Relationships and for Couples in OKC
In the realm of sexual health and relationship dynamics, there exists a fundamental yet often overlooked component: sexual pleasure. The World Association of Sexual Health (WAS) has recently recognized sexual pleasure as a cornerstone of sexual health, emphasizing its importance in both physical and psychological well-being. As a sex therapy practice serving Oklahoma City, we understand the significance of acknowledging and nurturing sexual pleasure within relationships, which is why we're diving into this crucial aspect today.
Historically, many societal norms and beliefs have framed sexual pleasure as taboo or even dangerous. Western religious traditions and medical ideologies have often perpetuated the notion that sex should be strictly for procreation within heterosexual marriages, sidelining the importance of pleasure. This mindset has led to a culture where the pursuit of sexual pleasure is often stigmatized or downplayed, particularly in educational settings.
However, research suggests that embracing sexual pleasure can have profound benefits for individuals and relationships. Comprehensive sex education that includes discussions of pleasure has been associated with healthier sexual behaviors, including delayed initiation of sexual activity, increased contraceptive use, and reduced rates of unwanted pregnancies. By shifting the narrative to one that embraces pleasure as a natural and positive aspect of sexuality, we can empower individuals to make informed choices and cultivate fulfilling intimate relationships.
Numerous studies have highlighted the positive impact of sexual pleasure on overall well-being. From improved mental and physical health outcomes to greater relationship satisfaction, experiencing sexual pleasure can enhance various aspects of life. In particular, couples who prioritize and nurture their sexual connection often report higher levels of intimacy and longevity in their relationships.
For individuals with chronic conditions or physical limitations, sexual pleasure can be especially important in maintaining a sense of vitality and connection with their partners. By incorporating pleasure-focused approaches into therapy sessions, we can help clients rediscover and embrace the joy of intimacy, regardless of any challenges they may face.
It's essential to acknowledge that experiences of sexual pleasure are often influenced by gender dynamics. In many societies, heterosexual women's pleasure has historically been subordinated to that of men, perpetuating a pleasure gap between genders. Research indicates that heterosexual women are less likely to orgasm during sexual activity with male partners compared to men, highlighting disparities in sexual satisfaction.
Moreover, societal attitudes and norms often dictate what types of sexual behaviors are deemed acceptable or pleasurable, further complicating individuals' experiences. By addressing these gendered perceptions and providing a safe space for exploration and expression, we can help clients navigate and reclaim their sexual autonomy.
At our sex therapy practice in Oklahoma City, we believe that embracing sexual pleasure is essential for cultivating healthy and fulfilling relationships. By integrating pleasure-focused approaches into therapy sessions, we aim to empower individuals and couples to explore their desires, communicate openly with each other, and deepen their intimate connections.
Whether you're seeking couples therapy in OKC or relationship counseling in OKC, we're here to support you on your journey towards greater sexual health and well-being. Together, we can work towards creating a more inclusive and pleasure-affirming approach to sexuality, one that celebrates the diverse experiences and desires of all individuals.
In conclusion, sexual pleasure is not only a natural and integral part of human sexuality but also a vital component of overall well-being and relationship satisfaction. By embracing pleasure and challenging societal norms, we can create a more positive and empowering narrative surrounding sexuality. If you're ready to explore your sexual pleasure and enhance your intimate relationships, we're here to help you every step of the way.
*reference: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/19317611.2021.1965689
Should sex be spontaneous?
“Although everyone loves spontaneous sex, the reality for the great majority of couples is that sexual encounters are planned or semi-planned (although not rigidly). If all sex had to be spontaneous, there would be low sex frequency.” - Dr. Barry McCarthy
Good sex flows from the right side of the brain...
“We may admire power and intellect, but love begins in the right brain, from the time we were babies and throughout our lifespan. Love is body-to-body, heart-to-heart, playful, and full of feeling and laughter. Likewise, loving sex is also body-to-body, heart-to-heart, playful, and full of feeling and laughter. That means sexual communication cannot speak in concepts quoting facts and figures, and delineating needs. Even worse, complaining, threatening, or shaming a partner’s response as inadequate, or demanding a change only makes a partner feel bad and can cast a taint on the sexual connection for a long time. I like to say that the biggest problem in sex is making sex a problem. Sexual language speaks softly body-to-body in right-brain dulcet tones and sweet talk, through lingering eye gazes, juicy kisses, breathing together, drawing in each other’s scent (and pheromones), empathic touch, and appreciative sighs at the warmth and smoothness of skin-to-skin contact. No matter how disappointing sex can be between two people, the way to make it better is with warmth, empathy, and compassion. Kindness and caring are great motivators and can enhance the sexual connection and enrich the quality of love in the relationship as a whole.” - Dr. Stella Resnick
Playfulness as the antidote to loneliness & isolation in your relationship...
“Having a partner in life is also about generating vitality and romance by being playful with each other and sharing ordinary daily pleasures that keep a relationship engaged. Sharing something good about one’s day and laughing about a funny encounter can be uplifting. For those who value their sexual aliveness, kissing, affectionate touching, erotic playfulness, and making love can be the most uplifting intimate engagement of all. The opposite of loving engagement is loneliness and isolation. Many couples complain that their only recreation with one another is to sit and watch TV together or occasionally go out to dinner. They hardly ever play together actively, or look into each other’s eyes with warmth and smiles.” - Dr. Stella Resnik
The difference between intimacy & passion..
“If both intimacy and passion are to thrive beyond the limerent period, there must be a recognition that the two spring from separate and distinct motives. Intimacy is engendered by the desire to know every detail of the other’s dreams and fears. Passion, however, is felt when one gazes at the beloved from a distance and appreciates him or her as an individual who can never be fully known.” - By Dr. Jack Morin from The Erotic Mind
A beautiful insight of how to keep sex vibrant in a long-term relationship...
"Michelle and Alison, both 35, have been together for 17 years and married for eight.
Has frequency of sex always been consistent in your relationship?
It ebbs and flows, but always comes back around with intensity. We have been through a dry spell, and we make sure to set aside time to get back on track. Even if it’s just one [time] every couple of weeks, then we start to get back to more frequency.
How?
Sexual playfulness keeps the spark alive. My wife knows I love to be bitten, have my hair pulled, etc. So she will come up to me randomly and bite my neck, even if it’s not going to lead to sex due to bedtimes, dinner or whatever. That creates an anticipation and intensity like no other. Her triggers are gentle tickling and whispers in her ear.
How do you define “good” sex?
I think it has changed over the years. Early in our relationship, we would spend hours having sex, and that just isn’t realistic now. We both reminisce about how awesome our early relationship sex was. But just the other night, my wife said she had the best orgasm she’s ever had."
Check out the full article here: 5 Couples Share Their Secrets For Keeping Sex Alive In A Long-Term Relationship
Why viewing sex as an obligation can set the stage for trouble…
“Commitments inevitably involve obligations, but when commitment and obligation become indistinguishable, the stage is set for serious sexual trouble. Compelling erotic desires are always “want to’s,” whereas obligations are “have to’s.” When freely made, commitments are powerful statements about wanting to sustain a connection and are therefore fully compatible with desire. By contrast, obligations rarely call forth anything more than a grudging willingness to meet them. Partners who perceive their commitment primarily as a set of obligations are heading down a slippery slope that ultimately leads to the dampening of desire.”
-Dr. Jack Morin
Consciously create the conditions you want for good sex...
“For instance, passionate lovers who appreciate surprises become adept at deliberately breaking their sexual routines with playful experimentation. Creating unexpected turn-ons isn’t simply a matter of behaving less predictably—although this certainly helps. It also requires the ability to increase your capacity for being surprised. Zestful lovers allow themselves to be caught off-guard. On the other hand, I’ve often noticed how bored lovers develop an uncanny ability to miss opportunities for surprise, usually because they stop paying attention.
Too many people also assume that they can only wait and hope for idyllic situations or partners to bring special excitement to their lives. Passionate lovers discover that lucky moments happen more frequently to those who consciously devise the necessary conditions. And far more than we realize, the seemingly magical appearance of an ideal partner is a mixture of happenstance and a heightened readiness on the part of the beholder to perceive beauty.”
Dr. Jack Morin from The Erotic Mind
We must cultivate a whole new way of perceiving
“The more mechanical and explicit aspects of sex are relatively easy to observe and translate into numbers and graphs, whereas the most rewarding and powerful secrets of eroticism are elusive, highly individualistic, and difficult to quantify. To make sense of it we must cultivate a whole new way of perceiving.”
Dr. Jack Morin Morin from The Erotic Mind
Internal Worthiness (a crucial component of sexual desire)
"The truth is, the kind of sexual desire that touches us deeply tends to flourish when we feel safe, self-confident, caring, cared for, powerful, and pleasure-loving. And this is true whether we’re eighteen or eighty-six. But when sexual attraction is born out of low self-esteem, fear, neediness, and pain, it may feel as if one partner is doing all the giving and the other is only taking. In fact, both partners may feel as if they’re not receiving nearly enough.”
-Gina Ogden (renowned sex therapist)