Why viewing sex as an obligation can set the stage for trouble…

“Commitments inevitably involve obligations, but when commitment and obligation become indistinguishable, the stage is set for serious sexual trouble. Compelling erotic desires are always “want to’s,” whereas obligations are “have to’s.” When freely made, commitments are powerful statements about wanting to sustain a connection and are therefore fully compatible with desire. By contrast, obligations rarely call forth anything more than a grudging willingness to meet them. Partners who perceive their commitment primarily as a set of obligations are heading down a slippery slope that ultimately leads to the dampening of desire.”

-Dr. Jack Morin