Wisdom from the Queen, Esther Perel

“The crisis of desire, is the crisis of imagination.”

“Desire is to own the wanting.”

“I want to be sexual, but in order to have an “I want to be sexual,” there needs to be a deserving “I,” who feels a sense of entitlement to engage with that part of yourself. That is the subjective experience of sexuality, the motivation, and once you grasp that desire is the owning of the wanting, you can understand that when you lose desire, you have basically lost a fundamental connection with yourself. "

Are you facing a crisis of desire in your long-term relationship? In what ways can you ‘own the wanting’ to help tend to your libido and maintain a sense of vibrancy over time?

Pulse Check

I encourage all the couples I work with to regularly take a pulse of their sex life. Here are a few questions to get you started:

1) What's going well?

2) What are you enjoying about yourself as a sexual person?

3) What are you enjoying about your partner as a sexual person?

4) What's missing and what role am I playing in this?

5) What's a step I can take to add something new?

Questions? Suggestions? Let me know!