Sexual Disconnection...
Are you feeling sexually disconnected from your partner? We are taught the myth in our culture that sexual connection and desire should occur spontaneously. We are not taught that the erotic and intimate side of long-term relationship needs to be tended to on a regular basis.
What are you doing to tend to the erotic realm of your relationship? A few ideas...
- Pay attention to your partner in a new way. Can you see them through fresh eyes and appreciate something new about them?
- Change it up. Novelty is inherently erotic. Connect intimately in a new way, a new place, or a new time.
- Let touch linger. Be mindful of the way you are physically interacting with your partner. Have you fell into a pattern of hugging them, kissing them, in a way you would a family member? Touch your partner as if they are your lover...
Questions, comments? I'd love to here them.
Do you take responsibility for your own pleasure?
"You are responsible for your own pleasure and your own orgasm (if desired). You may enlist the help of your partner, of course, but no one else owns your pleasure. That means, likewise, that you are not responsible for your partner’s. You can be a willing participant, but it is not your burden to know what they want or to do it perfectly on your own."
-Jessa Zimmerman from Sex Without Stress
Sexual Avoidance & Disappointment
"Sex can feel disappointing for many different reasons. You may have unrealistic expectations (although you may not realize they’re unrealistic), leaving you sad and afraid when reality isn’t living up to your ideal. You may have the unfounded idea that sex should be spontaneous, that men should last a long time, that women should orgasm through penetrative sex, or that penetration is the only sex that counts. These are a few common errant expectations, and there are many more. Every time you have sex that falls short of your expectations, it can feel like a failure, diminishing your confidence for the next time."
-Jessa Zimmerman from Sex Without Stress